Alamo Basement, Week 4: The Trailers

This week's trailers were a trio of action movies, the winner being the one that promised the most nudity. Typical.

1.) Japanese school-children murdering eachother dystopian action favorite: Battle Royale:




2.) Awesome ax-clanging, match chewing, mega-violent Stallone movie Cobra:




3.) And this week's winner, USA "Up All Night" fodder Hard Ticket to Hawaii. This ain't no hula:




Commercials and Bumpers after the jump...


We had a fun round of commercials this week too, starting off with a cheeky No Smoking spot from John Waters, who seemed to be talking directly to a certain patron that will remain nameless:




Austin's Alamo Drafthouse (no relation) made a splash on the internet last week when it released its newest no texting bumper, proudly releasing the vulgar rant of an angry woman who was booted out of the theater for using her pHHOooonne as a FLASHLIGHT.




We had a cute Simpsons bumper of unknown origin (why it didn't play in front of their movie seems like a missed opportunity)




What follows is probably the greatest thing I've ever seen, an early '60s theater ad for James River Brand Smithfield Barbecue.




Aside from the obvious reasons, here's why it's amazing:

1. The awkward close up at the end that lingers too long and the rebel yell that precedes it.
2. The racist James River brand labeling.
3. The Schoolhouse Rock style song that suggests that Pocahontas and John Smith invented barbecue.
4. The fact that Smithfield is known for its pork, yet the can is clearly labeled BEEF.
5. The fact that barbecue looks like re-digested shit.
6. The server puts the ladle directly on the counter after serving. YAHOOOOOOOooo...............